Why Midlife Doesn’t Love Chaos

If you’ve been wondering where I’ve disappeared to over the past few weeks, I promise there has been a very good reason.

Life has felt wonderfully full, but also wonderfully chaotic.

In the space of a couple of weeks I wrapped up the end of term in Bali, squeezed in all those last minute goodbyes, boarded a long haul flight back to the UK, unpacked into a new home, reunited with family and friends, tried to keep on top of work and somehow found myself doing it all in the middle of one of the hottest British heatwaves I can remember.

It has been… a lot.

In my thirties I would probably have taken all of this in my stride. A little more coffee, a little less sleep and I’d have convinced myself I was absolutely fine. Now, in my late forties, I know better.

The first thing that disappears when life becomes busy is usually the very thing that keeps us well: our routines.

Not because we don’t value them, but because they can suddenly feel impossible. Movement becomes something that will happen tomorrow. Meals become whatever is quickest (certainly not the healthiest) and sleep becomes something we hope to catch up on next week.

Somewhere amongst unpacking boxes, catching trains, answering emails and trying to remember which time zone we’re in, we quietly lose the anchors that help our bodies feel safe.

That is something I notice much more during perimenopause.

My body is incredibly forgiving, but it is no longer indifferent. When I eat well, move consistently and prioritise recovery, I feel clear headed, energetic and optimistic.

When I don’t, my body lets me know surprisingly quickly. My sleep becomes lighter (not helped by the crazy heatwave) and my energy dips. My patience becomes thinner and recovery takes longer.

It is one of the greatest lessons midlife has taught me. Wellbeing is no longer something I can leave until life becomes less busy, because life rarely becomes less busy.

Instead, I have learnt that my habits have to become portable. They need to travel with me through airports, house moves, holidays, busy work seasons and family commitments.

Not perfectly. Simply consistently and that shift has changed everything. I no longer think of wellness as a destination I return to once life calms down.

I think of it as the quiet thread that runs through every season of life, especially the messy ones.

There is good science behind this too.

Periods of travel, disrupted sleep, heat, stress and changing routines all place additional demands on the nervous system. During perimenopause, when fluctuating hormones are already influencing temperature regulation, sleep quality and resilience to stress, those demands can feel even greater.

It is hardly surprising that so many women tell me they come back from holidays or busy periods feeling as though they need another week to recover.

I understand that feeling completely. The difference now is that I expect those busy seasons to come.

Instead of abandoning every healthy habit, I ask myself a much simpler question: what is the smallest thing I can do today that helps my future self?

Sometimes it is a twenty minute strength session. Sometimes it is getting outside first thing in the morning.

Sometimes it is choosing a nourishing breakfast before another day of unpacking boxes or jumping into work emails

Small actions. Repeated often.

Those are the habits that have carried me through these last few weeks and they are the reason I am beginning to feel like myself again.

Next week I’ll share exactly how I approach travel during midlife. The routines, rituals and small wellness essentials that come with me wherever I go, helping me arrive home feeling restored instead of depleted.